Sunday, 8 November 2009

A Bauer sense of humour.


Jack Bauer is a man on a mission. As the protagonist of the electrifyingly gripping television show 24, he is almost single handedly responsible for saving the world (but mainly America) from exploits of hardened criminals, terrorists and general troublemakers. He hardly has time for fun, frivolities or a sense of humour. However, if he were to ever crack a joke in an attempt to force an upside down frown, it would probably be along the following lines:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hugh who?

Kim hasn't lost her virginity, I found it and put it back.

Lemons? Life gives me whatever fruit I ask for.

And finally:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was necessary.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

If life lands you a verb, expand upon it.


Beer mats have always been a source of inspiration, Chaucer, Shakey and Johnson loved a good brew. The above mat inspired me to expand on its peculiarities.


Etymology 1

Noun. otter. Any aquatic or marine carnivorous mammal, member of the family Mustelidae, which also includes weasels, polecats, badgers, and others.

Etymology 2

Verb. to otter (third-person singular simple present otters, present participle ottering, simple past and past participle ottered)

1. (transitive, vulgar slang) Of a being, to be or have been turned on one's back and be(en) nuzzled in the mid-rift by one of the same being, in a rough but affectionate manner.

2. (intransitive, vulgar slang) To have participated in a playful/sexual act of attraction.